The journey of self-discovery is probably the most important one we can take.
It is an inner journey that happens deep within us, but SHEWWWWWW does it takes guts!
The dragons that need to be slain before we can be our true selves are our own insecurities, false belief systems, and fears. As a child, we don’t enter this world as a blank slate, or a piece of clay waiting to be molded.
We enter the world with certain conditioning already ingrained in us, and from the time we develop any form of consciousness, we are being fed information by the world around us.
You can perpetuate and create the reality you want
Let’s talk about decision making for a moment.
What is the lens through which you make your decisions?
What things do you consider, or maybe don’t consider, when making a decision?
If you keep making decisions based on your current, lived reality, you will constantly be perpetuating that SAME reality. Over and over, you will be stuck in the same loop.
Ergo, you will keep becoming more of what you choose to be or decide to be. You will constantly become what you align yourself with. So, to snap out of the twisted Groundhog Day type of replay, you need to be making decisions based on what your Higher Self would do.
Every time you have to make a decision, ask yourself a question that will change your life: What decision would your Higher Self make?
Seriously, this question is a game changer.
The unspoken truth of your soul
Even though we are constantly bombarded with external information, every individual still sees the world through their own, internal lenses.
The “who” of who we are, or our “identity” forms this lens, and it is shaped by many things – the process of social experience, our existence with others, and our conditioning.
The beliefs and identities that you have taken on in the course of your life are shaped by your environment, and by the ways that you have adapted to events and situations.
Before you were born, your spirit had a ‘life plan’ so to speak. There was an outline or a blueprint for your life’s journey – the people you would meet, places you would go, lessons to be learned, and fears and blocks to be overcome. You were born because the world needed your unique energy.
But practically from the womb, we are taught what types of behaviors in certain situations are appropriate and will win us praise and love, and punished when we behave in a manner that feels natural and satisfying but isn’t deemed appropriate.
Many of us grew up feeling our parents’ love was conditional: behave the right way and you are rewarded. March to the beat of your own drum and you are called a rebel, bad or ungrateful. It just wasn’t safe to be genuine.
We are Shaped by our Need for Love, Acceptance, Safety, and Security
As humans, we have a need to belong and we want people to understand us. So, in our trying to belong, we often focus on the outside world and its thoughts of us.
And I think this is natural because we already come from a place of wholeness and we are just trying to connect to others. We adapt and shape ourselves to make sure that our needs are met; our need for love, acceptance, safety, and security.
But if we stay in that outside world and have our focus on what others think, we are not with ourselves and therefore, we can’t really know ourselves.
Many of us have that anxious feeling running through our bodies on a regular basis. That feeling comes in a variety of states; from intense fire alarm bells to a low-level fear running in the background of our thoughts. When this happens, we can tend to withdraw socially, rely on substances, or get caught up in drama to escape this feeling of impending doom.
We may walk through life being afraid of what causes this overwhelming worry. We believe that we are just anxious because one or both of our parents was a worrier. We are told it’s genetic and incurable, so we resort to prescriptions or other lifelong dependencies.
We think there is no relief for this state, so we do our best to grind it out and survive.
In reality, we don’t feel safe much of the time and that lack of security is the major trigger for all the fear that washes through us.
Hiding becomes so common that spontaneous, genuine reactions and innate self-confidence seem to be harder and harder to find, and sometimes almost totally disappear.
How can you be secure in who you are if you are afraid to show your authentic self, even to yourself?
So what holds us back from radical personal expression? Is it shyness? Or a fear of being judged? Maybe fear of making a fool of ourselves? Or the fear of failure or rejection? Holding on to those fears and beliefs about ourselves may have protected us in some way; otherwise, we would not have stuck with them. They may have kept us in relative safety and protected us from perceived harm, but they cannot serve you all your life.
The Process Involves Peeling Away the Layers, Honey!
To really be free enough for radical personal expression, we must keep peeling the layers of the onion and going deeper until we get to our core beliefs, ways of thinking about ourselves that developed when we were very young.
The great teachers from the past all had a similar message to help us find our true selves: You don’t need to learn anything, you must simply remember what you already know deep inside. Peel away the debris that covers and obscures what is already there.
Authentic expression is not about trying to impress others. It is about being ourselves in our fullness. When you strive to be your authentic self, a sense of purpose and a feeling of happiness will follow – not because you are trying to do or achieve anything, but because the very process of being who you really are creates a meaningful impact in the world.
So, maybe it is time to ask yourself: What is your true nature? Do you know who you really are? If you could look behind and beyond your surface personality, what would you see? Answering these questions will help you discover and connect with your true essence – a connection that is essential to both your happiness and your fulfillment.
Is Your Essence in Alignment?
Your essence is like the engine that drives your soul. It transcends each of your experiences – it is your energy, your life force. It is what makes you, you. Sometimes, when your essence is not aligned with the life you are living, you can find yourself experiencing many different things.
Many people find themselves at a point where they become aware of this misalignment and they begin to ask deeper questions like:
- Why am I here?
- What are my passions?
- Why am I not happy, even though I am successful?
As you stay in contact with your essence, you will find your right place in so many areas of life, without even trying! Things just begin to line up for you. The machinery of your life moves more and more abundantly, and there is a flow that fills you with a sense of unwavering joy and well-being.
Don’t get essence confused with personality – they are two very different things. Your personality stems from the ‘ego’, while your essence is independent of it. It is the raw energy that a person gives out, it is what they vibrate.
It is that which elevates a person to their highest truth, purity, and love. It is what emanates from people when they are selflessly doing what they truly are meant to do, and being who they are meant to be.
My work with my clients is a collaboration that illuminates the essence that is buried deep within them.
The way I see it, radical personal expression changes as we learn, unlearn, and grow. We truly come alive when we peel away layers of conditioning and release old ways of orienting in the world.
And, seemingly like magic, we reveal our true nature when we step into this kind of authenticity.